mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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bite me

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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