A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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25

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Large 4

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops