What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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