justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

What's 9+10 Ebola

What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

guy walks into a bar, ouch

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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