Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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