A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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knock knock go away!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops