What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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