Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops