Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

You know whats funny? Women's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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