What comes after 69... Mouthwash

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

Whats 1+1? window!

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

What's funny? Women's rights.

Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

Women's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...