your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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