Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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