Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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