kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Your mom.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops