I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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I'm HIV positive.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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