A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops