What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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