- Anti Joke

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

why girl die cancer

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

i had sex.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

why girl die cancer

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

i had sex.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

why girl die cancer

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease