What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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