Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

like this if you think what ever you want to..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

thumb_up thumb_down -17

BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops