What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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