What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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pudding

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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