Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dig Bick Your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops