What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

Women's Soccer.

lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

Mooses

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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