Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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