Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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What's the new green? Green

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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