God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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