My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops