How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops