What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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