- Anti Joke

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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