roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

kkkk

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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