An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops