whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Beka has AIDS

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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