What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

G

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...