- Anti Joke

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

I had friends on the Death Star.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

say it ten times fast: oh

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

your sister has 1 boob thats funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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