Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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