compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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what is orange? an orange

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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