A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

What would Muhammed do?

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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