How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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PENIS that is all

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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matt is fat

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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