I'm going to rewrite history. History.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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