Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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mexicans fishing

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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