What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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