What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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wenis

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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