Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

Nero: Farewell to my past last part aka No more forced psychiatric evaluations for me. My psychiatric evaluator asked me why I consider myself a souless demon and not a man. My answer was: My mothers name was Maria, my brothers name is Kristoffer and my real father (which I only met once which was meaningless) is a Chatolic priest. Then I showed her (my psychiatric evaluator) my passport, my name is not Nero Angelo, nor whatever my parents might have told others but rather Angelo Nero. So lets conclude shall we? Nero Angelo = Angel black. and some Capcom shit. Angelo Nero = Says on my birth certificate, means Black Angel. Kristoffer= The sacrifice of Christ my half brother. Ricardo my non real father = which has nothing to do with Josef... Thank F*CK! So yeah, some of you might recognize me, but I have not met any family members the last 16 years, so if you where planing to judge me the next time you see me, you better run instead, because I will... "pacify" you for just watching while my parents waterboarded me, for just standing there while my mother tried excorzise me away while beating the crap out of me. I WILL "remove you, forever" the only family I got, are my 2.755 or so members of my movement Neronism, and my wife`s family, this is not a threat.... ...Its a promise to me, and to you. Make no mistake though, Neronism has over 60.000 members worldwide, but I dont care about them, enough is enough. Maria: My birthmother which claimed long before I was born that she was a virgin and as thus that she was giving birth to the anti-christ. (me, thanks mom) Then my psychiatric evaluator asked me if I truly believed I was a demon, where I told her that "human" is just a term, and that I know that calling myself a demon is just a way of coping with my past. She suggested that now that my troubles/parents are over/dead, that my need for her or anyone evaluating me further is over and she jokingly rated me a 100 percent "fresh" when I asked her if I was still a rotten tomato, so I am officially out from the "realm" of psychiatry (which I was forced to after killing my father in self defense). Its been fucking 27 years since, bt finally I am fucking happy... And the hell if there is humanity left in me... >:) M.Biso... I mean Nero. Merry christmas everybody, I know mine is not so bad after all... ill probably spend more time here, but farewell for now, and finally I can scratch the shit out of my ortopedic arm without getting PTSD`s of my non real father tearing my head off... AAAAAAAAAND all is good... Except the fucking itch...

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY

Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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