What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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