Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red, violets are blue, penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops