Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

23

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Burp

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...