A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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