What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ring around the rosie ... your dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops