A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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Screw it you write the joke.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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