Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops