Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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